Fone Call From Babette...

Eet ees bad enouff Ee 'ave an ex- vife, but does she 'ave to call moi vhen Ee am trying to sleep off my 'angover. Ee 'ad a petit too much to drink at Pittsburgh's last night and to be awokened at noon to a screaming french ex ees not my idea of a vake-up call.

"Ooooh la la!" she screamed into the fone, "Maurice, yoo do not know vhat tat zon of yours did last night!" Ee said to 'er "Vhich zon? Ee have 137 children and Ee do not know 'ow many of tem are zons!" "Yoo bad fater! 'Ow could yoo not know 'ow many zons yoo have?" Ee said ten "'Ow many zons do Ee 'ave?" "Maurice!" She screamed (because she does not know eiter) "Maurice! Eet ees Burgundy, 'E 'as runned off vit Godzillas' daughter Arugula to Monaco!" "Ave yoo called Godzilla yet?" Ee asked meekly. "Ach no! Not after yoo got drunk at te family reunion and punched 'im out! Ee am afraid Maurice" She vhispered, "vhat eef 'e comes 'ere to seek revenge?"

Zo, now Ee 'ave a zon in Monaco vit no zense. Yoo vould tink my zon would 'ave better zense, but no. Eet ees a good ting Ee 'ave paid off my debt to te God Pidgeon as Ee vill now 'ave to ask 'im to v.q.c.p. (very quick carrier pidgeon) my zon to zend Arugula home. Tis 'ad better not upset my plans for the Gilroy Garlic Festival tomorrow. [Sigh]. Ee am zo looking forward to my garlic fries.