No Zun, te Bubonic Plague, and Fume Blanc Goes Vegan...

Vhat ees vit tis place? Eet ees zuposed to be zummer now, but te zun 'as disappeared. Ee personally tink the parking police took eet because eet vas parked on te 'orizon too long! Grrrr....Eet 'as been cloudy for two days now. Ee am not 'appy. And vhen Ee am unhappy everyone ees unhappy.

Zo after reading te bubonic plague vas an epidemic 'ere 100 years ago Ee decided to zend Polly Ann to te vet. Ee do not care eef she 'as an ice cream shop, eef she 'as te plague she can no longer eat my cheese! Ee zent Clifford vit 'er, vhich means the gray cat and Ozzy are vit me now playing poker. (Ve are taking a break vhile te cat goes to te ATM at 7/11 and picks up zome more snacks.)

My zon called me tis morning to tell me 'e ees going vegan. Ee tought eet bad enough 'e became a vegetarian, but vegan? Ee am now shamed. My own zon. Mon petit Fume Blanc! Vhat ees tis vorld coming to? To give up cheese! Eet ees a zacrelidge! Vhat vill Ee do? Vhat eef all my children become vegans? Vhat vill Zolstice dinner be like ten? Ee do not tink Ee can eat tofufurky. Eet ees just zo vrong. Fortunately 'e ees not coming to visit anytime too zoon. Ee guess Ee could feed him...no, no ideas vhat zo ever! 'E must be a 'ippy. Ee can not explain eet anyoter vay. Fume Blanc ees a 'ippy (or Baccus forbid, part of a strange-no-animal-product-eatting-religous-zect)!

Te cat ees back. Zo Ee must go and eat my cheetos and pork rinds (vhich by te vay go very nicely vit merlot). Ee am up and plan to stay tat vay. Zometing should go good for me today!