No Rest For Te Vicked...

Grrr.....Zo te trial vent smoothly. Diamond Dave did 'is job. Vhat Ee did not count on vas my ban from ALL airports FOREVER. Grrr...Ee 'ad te valk back from Arizona. Ee am not 'appy as Ee ruined my only shoes (Eet ees not easy being a dinosaur, ve 'ave no "discount outlets" for us). Ee did manage to zend Burgundy off te 'is mother. Apparently te "Dixie Chicks" did not vant 'im eiter; mostly because 'e vas not a chick, but a dinosuar. Ee am back in Zan Francisco now and am attempting to reclaim my yard from Ratty McRat. 'E ees very sneaky tat rat. Ee zuppose eet might be going better eef Ee did not spend zo much time at Te Park Chalet drinking vine and eatting fried brie vit Ozzy, but Ee 'ave eatten noting but "road food" for zeveral days and prison food and Ee deserve zome good meals. Ee vill start Jenny Craig zoon, Ee promise.

Clifford 'as taken up gardening. Zince 'e only zees een black and vhite 'e ees not zo good at picking out colors for te yard. Zo far everting ees purple and vhite. Ee told 'im 'e needs zome orange. 'E zays Ee just like to say orANge because Ee am French. Ee can not help eet eef Ee am French, Ee am just better tat vay. Ee promised to go to te garden center and help pick out colors, but Clifford zays Ee 'ave no taste! Ee told 'im "Ee am French! Ee am all taste!" Clifford replied "Yeah well I've seen some of that crap the french put out and try and call it haute culture." (yoo 'ave to imagine 'im spiting at te end otervise eet does not 'ave te zame effect.) "Te French invented Taste!" Ee zaid. Clifford replied "And that's why everyone drives French cars, wears high French fashion, and eats frog legs for dinner everynight!" "Tat ees because Americans 'ave no taste!" 'E might 'ave zaid zomething, but eet vas under 'is breath and Ee could not hear eet. Anyvay Ee vill sip my vine and vatch 'im garden. Eet ees a good plan, n'est pas?