Ooh La La Te 'Olidays!!

Ee am stuffed. Non, really Ee am. Ee am zo stuffed eet ees painful to type! First tere vas Zolstice Feast, ten tere vas Christmas Dinner, ten ve celebrated Boxing Day and Kwanzaa (two feasts een one! Oh te memories!) And of course ve had Hanukkah every night. Eet vas all zo...tasty! Ee vill miss te 'olidays...[zigh]

Een te days after New Years Feast (ahhh zaurkraut, 'ow Ee adore eet!) Ee 'ave been vatching dachshund wresting een my living room. Ahh oui, Ee am back from France (eet vas zo beautiful, zo vonderful, zo french!) Ee tink my children vould like tis sport, but zadly tey are not 'ere, but back een school again in Paris (except for Fume Blanc vho staged a protest against te use of animal products at 'is school and ees now studying een Japan vere soy and tofu abound). Non, non, eet ees not on t.v. eiter. Apparently Clifford (Ee 'ate saying 'is name like tat, eet should be Cleefford. Ee tink Ee vill call 'im tat from now on--eet ees zo much easier!) Alors, Cleefford and Zamanta are wrestling together zo tat Cleefford's nails vill be trim. 'E vould 'ave none of eet tough. Eet ees very funny and eet tink eet is more amusing to vatch tan any reality show on t.v. (tough Ee do like "Vintage Vine" te reality show vhere yoo 'ave to make te vine!) Cleefford ees very sneaky tat dachshund! 'Ours of amusement Ee tell yoo!

Tere vas no family drama tis year. No one vas naughty, everyone ate, eet vas all good and ten James Brown died. Ee vas very zad zo ve 'ad a memorial feast and played J.B. music all night, danced, and ate our vine and cheese. Eet vas a good night. Ten Ford died and that vas even zadder. No feasting, though ve still celebrated our 'oliday. Zamanta called to zay 'er zister vas zinging in te funeral and ve should vatch. Ve did and ve zaw her, but tat's eet. Nothing more. Apparently tey locked te choir up before and after te service zo tey could no do anyting. Tough one choir member ran eento Mrs. Carter een the batroom and spoke to 'er before she realized vho she vas. (She didn't 'ave 'er glasses on apparently!) Ee am glad Ee do not vear glasses, Ee 'ope Ee vill never make tat mistake! Anyvay, Amanda ees all over te papers in Grand Rapids because she vas een te front row of te choir. Not even tirty and she 'as already 'ad 'er fifteen minutes of fame! Ooh la la! Ee should be zo lucky. Tough Zamanta zays Ee am not famous, but infamous vhich ees better anyvay.

Vell, tat ees all Ee 'ave to report for now. Ee am going to go back to vatching dachshund wrestling een te living room. My bet ees on Cleefford. Ee do no tink Zamanta ees going to vin tis round eiter!