'Appy Birtday Cleeford!

Ee took zome time off tis weekend from my busy schedule to celebrate Cleeford's birtday. Eet vas fabulous eef Ee do zay zo myself! First ve vent to te most expensive steak house een town. Eet vas on Van Ness Ave (named for Nessy's Flemish cousin Van). Eet vas quite an experience. First ve 'ad zome sparkling vater, ten ve 'ad zome Coppela vine, ten ve ordered the ahi tuna followed by te steak vit te blue cheese, and ve 'ad some baked potato. Eet vas very tasty and even tough our vaiter vas terrified of us once ve told 'im vho Ee vas 'e vas more interested een helping us. Ten ve vent vit Nessy on a tour of te Bay and caught zome jazz een Oakland. Eet vas a pleasant evening. For 'is birtday Cleeford got a giant bone, zome pig ears, a rope piggy, and a squeeky squirrel vit a fluffy tail. 'E vas quite happy.

Een oter news Ee 'ave been looking for a new 'ome. Ee tink 'Earst Castle vould zuffice, but eet ees zo far away from everyting. Tough tere ees plenty of steak out tere, eet ees miles away from all my friends...tough Ee tink te indoor pool might be worth eet. Ee am also looking into Pacific Heights neighborhood. Now tere ees zome zizable 'ouses. Makes Zamanta's 'ouse look like a lean-too. Ee tink tey are better tan the 'ouses een Sea Cliff.

Ee am zorry to zay, Ee am responsible for te eartquake last week. Ee vas very angry and een my anger management class Ee 'ave to admit vhen Ee 'ave trown a tantrum. Ee vas very upset tat tey 'ad no more tickets to the Reduced Shakespeare Company's production of the History of America Ee vanted to take Cleeford for 'is birtday, but tey did not 'ave enough tickets and Ee trew a 'issy fit. Nessy vas tere and she vas no 'appy eiter, vhich ees vhy eet vas a 3.4, ve vere both 'oppin' mad. Anyway, tere ees one less ticket agent een te vorld today. Zo again Ee 'ave to go to court, because Ee made a "faux pas" or as Cleeford zometime zays a "fox pass". 'E ees zo uncouth for 'aving a PhD in Ancient Dachshundian Literature, 'is canine jokes do not amuse me at all. Ee, incidently, gave 'im French lessons for 'is birtday, but 'e did not zeem very excited about eet at all. Ee vonder vhy?