Vhen te 'Angover Cleared...

Zo eet vas me and te Kelpie on St. Patrick's Day. Ee zaid to te Kelpie "Vhat vill ve do to celebrate zuch an 'onorable zaint" and te Kelpie zaid "Let's go have sushi" and tere yoo 'ave eet. Ee celebrated St. Patrick by 'aving zome zushi, lots of zushi een fact. To be fair Ee did go to A Irish bar, but eet vas only long enough to drink one keg of beer. 'Owever, eet should be mentioned tat tere vas much zake drunk and ve terrorized zeveral people on 9th Ave by chasing tem eento te Park. Eet vas great fun. Ee tink ve vill 'ave to try eet more often. Ee just love te look on all teir faces as ve growled and bared our teeth! Ahhh...eef only Ee could do zo more often, but te Kelpie ees zort of antisocial. Ee do no know vhy. Ee 'ave tried to get 'im to go out, but 'e always zays no. Zome 'orses are just too 'ard to change.

Anyvay, Ee voke up Monday morning remembering Ee 'ad to go to court...Again...because Ee ate te ticket zeller a few weeks ago. Ee vas no zo 'appy. Te Kelpie zaid 'e 'ad a lawyer ('e vas eenvolved een a legal dispute vit te Park a few years ago, tey vanted to fill een 'is 'ome and 'e did no vant to move). Zo ve vent to 'is lawyer Melvin "Crazy Cat" Cougar. Mel 'as been living een te Park for years and nobody eemportant 'as noticed 'im yet, tough Ee tink 'e vould eat anyone vho vould try to boot 'im out anyvay. Zo Mel 'as decided to take my case. Ee 'ave been assured tat eet ees no zo bad and ee vill probably only 'ave zome community zervice to do...like taking care of babies, visiting te elderly, feeding zoup to te 'omeless. All tis Ee can do. Ee just 'ave to remember no to eat anyone eef Ee am zo eenclined. 'E also zays Ee must look friendly, eat less meat, and visit te dentist before te trial. Ee zaid Ee no 'ave a dentist and 'e just looked me een te eye and zaid "find one" een a quiet, but treatening tone. Zo eef anyone can recommend a dentist vho ees no zo afraid of a T-Rex Ee am interviewing dentists now. Next veek Ee go zhopping for zome new clothes for court. Mel zaid tey must take me seriously, but also to look "vhimsicle" Ee tink tat means Ee need "fun" socks vit dachshunds on tem, n'est pas?