Te Case of Te Missing Sheboygan...

Zo Ee tink eet vas last veek vhen Cleeford called me up at te FlipSide to eenform me ve 'ad tickets for te Giants game. Ee zaid to 'im "Ee tought yoo zaid tat vas tomorrow?" and 'e zaid "I thought so too, but I just saw Ozzy at the beach and I asked him and he said they were for tonight!" Ee tought about eet for a minute and ten zaid "Okay, Ee vill meet yoo tere" Zo as eet vas already 5pm and te game started at 7 Ee got on Muni and headed for te park.

Eet vas a nice day. Eet vas varm, te zun vas shining, and te birds...vell tey vere tasty. As eet vas Cleeford and Ozzy vere early, but ve 'ad to vait and vait and vait for te Basilysk. "I say old chaps, what are we doing standing around when we could be getting some tasty Sheboygans?" As eef 'e vas vaiting for us! Umph! Alors, ve vent een.

Ve made te Basilysk buy our beer, which ees always circumspect. Te creature knows vine, but beer ve are never too zure of. Zo ve gave 'im our orders: 3 blacksmiths and 1 smithwicks. And ten ve all stood een line for te tasty Sheboygans. Sheboygans vit zaurkraut and onions. Only te mustard gave us issue. Te pump vould no vork zo te Basilysk took te lid off and poured eet onto te zausage. Unfortunately Cleeford got more tan 'e barganed for. Lots more. Ee tink tere vas enough spicey mustard tere to zervice 6 Sheboygans!

And zo ve all sat down. And ve tried to eat te Sheboygans, only te zausage broke through te buns and no one vas sure 'ow to get to the zausage or get te zausage to stay between te buns. Zo eet vas vhen Ozzy vas no paying attention 'is Sheboygan miraculously "flew" away and all 'e 'ad left vas te bun! Ozzy vas zo 'ungry 'e tried to look for eet on te ground to eat eet. But 'e could no find eet (vhich Ee tink vas good zince vho knows 'ow clean tat floor ees!) Ve did figure eet landed under te chair een front of 'im, but te aging 'ippo een tat chair probably ate eet despite claiming to be knowing no ting about eet. 'E vas a funny guy tat 'ippo... Zo ve all felt bad for 'ungry Ozzy, but at tat moment Barry Bonds stepped up to te plate and ve all forgot about Ozzy and 'is rumbling tummy and ve all stood up to cheer. Ve 'eld our breath and prayed to our respective dieties and vatched tat man 'it number 756 eento te stands on te oter zide of te park!

Streamers shot out of te bleachers, firevorks vent off on te barge een te vater, and tere vas much cheering, shouting, and jumping around. Ve vere zo excited ve forgot to look at Bonds run te plates 'ome! And tere vere speaches and news crews and lots of excitement. Ee can 'onestly zay tat Ee no remember te rest of te game. No one could concentrate. But Ee tink yoo deserve to know tat Ozzy did get another Sheboygan, tough for zome reason 'e no ceased to look for 'is first one, vhich ees a leetle disturbing eef yoo ask me. Ee am no zo zure vhat Ee vill do te next time 'e eenvites me over for dinner. Vill tat meat 'ave been on te floor? Only Ozzy vill truly know. And tat ees vhat scares me. Ee may be a dinosaur, but Ee do 'ave standards!