Tese Fone Calls Vill No Stop!!!

Eet ees no like Ee zaid yes to te sponsorship ting. Ee merely zaid "uhhhh..." and te judge took tat to be a yes? Mon Dieu! Zo anyvay, Ee vas out late last night playing Trivia Pursuit vit Cleeford and Ziera te German Shepherd vhen Ee got tis phone call from tis crazy person. Te conversation vent as follows:

Me: 'Ello?
Paris: Hi, like so Maurice, I just want to like so tell you thanks for like being my sponsor and all and like I'm so totally glad like you are so willing, because like no one would like take me, because like, I don't know, but I just am like so grateful, because I really don't want to do like hard time like, you know?
Me: Know vhat? Vhat? Vho ees tis?
Paris: Like it's so me, you know, Paris, and like I am such a big fan by the way. That berret thing you have going on is like so hot.
Me: Paris? Oh, oui, Paris 'ilton. 'Ow did yoo get tis number and vhy are you calling me?
Paris: So like the judge gave me your number and said I should call it any time I like so vanted to drink and like drive or like anytime I felt like I was about to make a decision.
Me: Ee zee and yoo vant a drink?
Paris: No, I just so like need somebody to go pick me up a slurpie and some nachos at 7/11.

Zo Ee looked at Cleeford and Ee looked at Zierra and Ee looked at te fone and ten Ee screemed eento te fone and told 'er not to call me again. Ten Ee lost Trivia Pursuit to Zierra, and Cleeford and Ee hopped eento 'is mini, and ve vent 'ome vhere Ee found many messages from Paris on my answering machine. Zo Ee listened to only every other vord because eet zeemed Ee might understand vhat she zays better and tis ees vhat Ee 'eard: like so like hot my like so totally and the my like totally like hot like like nachoes like me. Zo Ee do no know exactly vhat she vas trying to convey, eet still made no zense. Ee do no actually care though. Ee am a T-Rex. T-Rex's do no go fetch slurpies and nachos for anyone, even eef eet does zound good at te time!

Ee know Ee promised yoo all Cleefords' translation of te Adventure of Saint Sabastian of the Flowering Log, but eet vill 'ave to vait. Ee am tired of answering te phone and Ozzy 'as gone off to te pub and Ee tink eet ees time Ee joined 'im. Ee vill no be taking my cell fone, but tat ees okay because Paris used up all te battery life. My fone ees morte and tat ees te vay Ee like eet!