Fater's Day...

Zo as yoo may vell remember Ee 'ave 137 children. Tey are all ages, zo Vater's Day ees a big deal to me. Zo Ee vill be posting from France as Ee am 'aving a grand fete at the chateau. Ee 'ave no been to te chateau for zome time, mostly because everytime Ee go Babette zays tings like:"Oh Maurice, te kitchen ees crumbling again, vould yoo fix eet? And te grass 'as completely over taken te bedroom again, Ee told yoo Ee vanted just lavender een tere! And vould yoo speak to te pidgeons again, tey are only renting te tower, not te tower and te vest ving! And te owl 'as got to be evicted vit all 'is late night parties vit te racoons. Ee don't know vhat Ee vould do vitout good tennents like te foxes. Have yoo seen any of our eggs? Ee sweare eet ees like tey just valked off or zomething!" And te list continues. 'Owever, ve vorked eet out long ago tat each of my children get me te vine tey are named after for fater's day. Eet 'as vorked out very vell een my favor indeed!

Te last few veeks 'ave been less tan interesting. Nessy ees apparently going to zome crazy vine weekend een New York. Ee did not even know tey had vine tere. Eet vas very surprising, but Nessy knows tis nice lake vit a paddle boat and she plans to go and 'ave a good time scaring drunks late at night. Both te Basilysk and Chuck, Nessy's 'usband, zaid to let 'er go and 'ave 'er veekend vit te girls, ve vere going to be men and go off to te voods and drink beer instead. Ee am no zo zure about tis. Neither te Basilysk nor Chuck are really te camping zort. Ee am no te camping zort, nor do Ee trust te Basilysk to pick out good beer. Ee vill drink anyting zo long as eet tastes good, but Ee am quite certain te last time Ee zaw te Basilysk drink beer eet vas about tree centuries ago. Ee do no tink 'e knows vhat 'e ees doing, especially as beer 'as changed zo much.

Kleeford ees still plugging avay at 'is translation of St. Sabastian of te Flowering Log. Eet ees very difficult for him yoo know vit the tiny legs and te big paws. Tey just do no make pencils for dachshunds. Zo te process ees slow going. 'E mostly dictates 'is stuff onto te computer, but te computer ees no zo vorking good. Eet must be very tough 'aving zo short legs...oh vait, zo do Ee. But at least Ee 'ave nails....

No fone calls from Paris. Jail ees a vonderful ting, zo long as Ee am no in it! Zo tis morning Ee vas at te dump vit te seagulls--tey invited me for breakfast. Eet vas very nice, but Ee vould rater 'ave no 'ave 'ad to pick out my food like zo. But again, eet vas very nice of tem. One should always 'ave breakfast by te beach, eet makes te food more....savory....Anyvay, Ee must be going. Ee 'ave a plane to catch or um, a p-terodactyl zince Ee am no longer allowed at te regular airport anymore!