Baseball vit te Giants

Ee do not understand vhy tey are called "giants". Tey are not zo very large. Een fact Ee tink tey are slow like giants, but certainly not very large.

Zo Ee took te "N Judah" to te ball park. (Ee can not remember te name eet 'as changed zo many times). And Ee got tere and Ee vas 'ungry zo Ee tried a cart of "sheboygan dogs" and 'ad me zome guiness. Eet vas te best part of te game, unless yoo vanted te "Nationals" to vin. (Vhat ees a national? And vhy vere te small giants playing tem Ee do not know.) Te game vas not as interesting as te food, but noting ever ees.)

Ee tink Ee fell asleep, because vhen Ee awoke Ee vas alone een te stadium staring eye to eye vit a zeagull. "Bonjour Zeagull," Ee zaid, "vho von te game?" Te zeagull looked at me vit 'is beak full of 'otdog bun, swallowed and said "the Nationals, who'd you think would have won?" "Eet vas a long shot te short giants could 'ave von Ee guess." "Did you bet on the game?" 'E asked. "No, Ee did not. Ee do not bet on sports, eet ees no fun." "Too bad, it is fun. Especially when you win. Gert hates it when you win." "Gert, vho ees tis Gert?" Ee asked. "Ooohhh...You've never met Gert? Wait around and see..." And 'e flew off. Zo Ee vaited. And vaited. And vaited.

Ten een te pale moonlight te most glorious creature arose from te bay and slithered een to the stadium. She glowed she vas zo lovely. Ee cleared my troat and introduced myself. "Madam, Ee am Maurice and vho might yoo be?" She looked up at me (Ee tink) and smiled (again Ee tink)and zaid "I am Gertrude the Gambler, the wise and hypnotic giant jelly fish." (Mon Dieu ees she ever!) "Would you like to place a bet on the Giants next game?" She asked. "Zure" Ee zaid, "anyting yoo vant."

Zo Ee placed a bet, lost last night, and am now camping out in Zamanta's backyard (Ee lost my 'ome in Golden Gate Park. Zamanta von't let me place anymore bets vit Gert. She von't even let me go back to te ball park. But Ee know Gert ees swimming around te Bay, eet von't be so difficult to track her down again...