Burgundy and te Lava Flows een Oregon...

Eet vas a long veekend. Mon Dieu, never 'ave children or at least do not mate vit a dinosaur! Apparently te God Pidgeon found Burgundy and Arugula en Monaco. Arugula got zent back to Godzilla and 'e dropped Burgundy off here. ('E tried to zend 'im back to Babette, but she shouted zo much about faters being a zource of dicipline and 'ow Ee lacked any zort of role modeling skills 'e brought te boy back 'ere.

Zo 'ere Ee am living een te back yard of Zamanta's vit my zon. Zo ve all vent up to Oregon for te veekend. Ee rented a lava flow from a chipmunk or vas eet a ground squirl, Ee can not tell te difference and ve 'ung out in Bend. Ve found a very nice ice cream parlor vhere Ee got te last of the vanilla ice cream. Eet ees a good ting. Eet ees vhat Ee like. Eef Ee do not get vhat Ee like Ee cause a scene. Zo Burgundy vho did not get 'is vanilla ice cream nearly 'ad a cow. 'E trew a temper tantrum and insisted te cow behind te counter go milk zomemore. Te cow vould 'ave none of it and made 'im eat expresso ice cream, but as te caffiene goes right trough 'im Ee now know every batroom between Bend and Sun River.

Te lava flow vas nice. Eet vas rough and rocky and varm. Burgundy complained te whole time: Papa, te lizards are laughing at me; Papa, the crows are staring at me; Papa, my bed's too hard...blah, blah, blah. (Can yoo believe te rubbish coming from 'is mouth? Ee can no figure out from vhere tis behavior comes from? But even more strange...te lizards vere laughing at 'im. Ee am 'onestly surprised tey noticed 'is ridiculous hair cut. Te crows, vel, tey tend to notice tose tings). Ee told 'im een my day ve 'ad noting but tar pits and hot lava to choose from! 'E did not believe me (Ee swear Ee zaid noting about te giant moss bed, but Ee tink Babette must 'ave told 'im). Ee took 'im to te top of Mount Bachelor and all he vanted to do vas lunch. No amazement at te beauty, no noting, just vhen do ve eat, vho do ve eat, and 'ow much can ve eat. Does tat voman not teach our children noting? Ungrateful little snot.

Ve are going to Arizona to visit zome distant relatives in te desert. Ee am looking forward to the zouthwestern food, zun, and zand. Eet ees about time Ee got out of te Zan Francisco fog. Eet ees a shame Burgundy vas able to get a last minute ticket on Taradactyl Express. Ee realy vanted to leave 'im 'ere vit Clifford. My son is shamelessly afraid of a 14 lb dachshund. Back in my day...vell there were no dachshunds so Ee do not know if I'd be afraid or no. Vhen Clifford scares me Ee just give 'im zome cheese. Vho does not like cheese? Exactly, only La Crosse players, but tey are tasty to eat! Post marinated of course...